Q. Me and my wife are trying to have intercourse but unable to. Any advice?

Answered by Dr. Nidhi Jain Bukharia and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.

 

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Image: Me and my wife are trying to have intercourse but unable to.  Any advice?

Hello doctor,

  • I am a 29 year old male. My height is 5'9" and I weigh 95 kg.
  • I got married in January 2014. My wife is 2 years younger than me. She comes from a very simple family and she has had no relationship before marriage.
  • I am the first guy in her life. She is also the first woman in my life and both of us have never had physical relationship ever before.
  • Now since January 2014, we are trying to have intercourse but unable to.
  • We are wanting to have a baby now, but are really worried with the situation. My wife is very shy and does not know much about sex.
  • I have never masturbated with tool in hand position and I have even tried but I am not able to. I cannot ejaculate in that manner.
  • The moment I lay down on stomach, I ejaculate in less than 20 seconds. I am very worried.
  • My masturbation has become even more regular since I am unable to have sex with my wife.
  • Also my wife is very sensitive when I touch her vagina.
  • Recently she has started enjoying fingering but she resists a lot if I do it with two fingers.
  • I wonder how I will ever penetrate her with such small space.
  • Also we tried penetration a lot of times but the moment I come close to her I lose erection.
  • We are very frustrated and are dying to have a baby.
  • I am very uncomfortable with my foreskin rolled down.
  • I know for penetration the head of the penis needs to be inserted but the head is very very sensitive and that is why I prefer masturbating in laying on stomach position.

Please help us. We want to have a baby now and before that we want to be sexually happy.


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Dr. Nidhi Jain Bukharia
MBBS., D.P.M.(CENTRAL INSTITUTE OF PSYCHIATRY)., EX SENIOR RESIDENT AIIMS
Psychiatry, Psychologist/ Counsellor, Sexology

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • You can apply lignocaine gel 2% (lox 2%) on your two fingers after wearing a condom on your fingers, and then try to enter the fingers into her vagina gradually and keep them inside for 10- 15 minutes.
  • After a few days start entering 3 fingers in the same way.
  • This gel will help combating vaginal dryness and will help you to enter your penis easily.
  • You can use tablet Tadacip 10 mg (Tadalafil) , 40 minutes before sexual intercourse. It will help you in erection initiation and maintenance, for initial few intercourses.
  • Do not worry. It is a very common problem among those who start having sex for the first time.
  • Before starting sexual intercourse, try to relax yourself, take deep breath 20 times and then start it with foreplay (at least 15 minutes).
  • It will help your partner in arousal, then her vaginal will become lubricated and she will not feel pain.

Revert back for review after a month to a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

 
 
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