Q. Me and my wife are trying to have intercourse but unable to. Any advice?

Answered by
Dr. Nidhi Jain Bukharia
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
Published on Jun 06, 2018 and last reviewed on: Jun 14, 2019

Hello doctor,

  • I am a 29 year old male. My height is 5'9" and I weigh 95 kg.
  • I got married in January 2014. My wife is 2 years younger than me. She comes from a very simple family and she has had no relationship before marriage.
  • I am the first guy in her life. She is also the first woman in my life and both of us have never had physical relationship ever before.
  • Now since January 2014, we are trying to have intercourse but unable to.
  • We are wanting to have a baby now, but are really worried with the situation. My wife is very shy and does not know much about sex.
  • I have never masturbated with tool in hand position and I have even tried but I am not able to. I cannot ejaculate in that manner.
  • The moment I lay down on stomach, I ejaculate in less than 20 seconds. I am very worried.
  • My masturbation has become even more regular since I am unable to have sex with my wife.
  • Also my wife is very sensitive when I touch her vagina.
  • Recently she has started enjoying fingering but she resists a lot if I do it with two fingers.
  • I wonder how I will ever penetrate her with such small space.
  • Also we tried penetration a lot of times but the moment I come close to her I lose erection.
  • We are very frustrated and are dying to have a baby.
  • I am very uncomfortable with my foreskin rolled down.
  • I know for penetration the head of the penis needs to be inserted but the head is very very sensitive and that is why I prefer masturbating in laying on stomach position.

Please help us. We want to have a baby now and before that we want to be sexually happy.

Dr. Nidhi Jain Bukharia

Psychiatry Psychologist/ Counsellor Sexology
#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • You can apply lignocaine gel 2% (lox 2%) on your two fingers after wearing a condom on your fingers, and then try to enter the fingers into her vagina gradually and keep them inside for 10- 15 minutes.
  • After a few days start entering 3 fingers in the same way.
  • This gel will help combating vaginal dryness and will help you to enter your penis easily.
  • You can use tablet Tadacip 10 mg (Tadalafil) , 40 minutes before sexual intercourse. It will help you in erection initiation and maintenance, for initial few intercourses.
  • Do not worry. It is a very common problem among those who start having sex for the first time.
  • Before starting sexual intercourse, try to relax yourself, take deep breath 20 times and then start it with foreplay (at least 15 minutes).
  • It will help your partner in arousal, then her vaginal will become lubricated and she will not feel pain.

Revert back for review after a month to a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist


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