Q. I am stressed due to marriage talks and financial debt. What can be done?

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I can see that you are under a lot of stress.

To start with the debt, I do not know the financial details and your social economic position so cannot comment on how you can come out of it but to start with you have to understand that this is your reality. Instead of getting upset about it try to sit and practically think of what you can possibly do to start with to help your father in this situation.

Getting married does not mean that you cannot help your father or you have to abandon the responsibilities you feel you have regarding your family. As a female I can understand your feelings, it does happen in many cases that after marriage the in-laws expect the female to just look after their family and not have involvement in her own family, but times have changed now. Even I am a female and I do support my family even after marriage as much as I want. The good things to do would be to communicate with your potential partner about how you expect your life to be. Be clear with your partner that after marriage you will be taking care of your own family and not abandon them. The relatives and society are just chatter. Do not get bothered with that. Getting married is not a bad thing, everybody needs someone in their life as a partner. Make sure you find the right partner and you will realise that it is a good thing.

Regarding social service, I can see that you are altruist tech and you strive for higher good, it is a very good thing, but remember whenever you will try to do something which is not normal for the people around you, they are going to laugh. It is your choice whether you listen to it and get stressed or you ignore it and do what you want. To work in politics or to do social work you do not need to postpone or ignore marriage. You can start small, do as much as you can in your position and then increase with time. If you are not able to handle the stress I would suggest you to talk to a counselor.

Same symptoms doesn’t mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Dr. Ruhi Satija

Experience: 10 + Yrs

Psychiatry

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