Q. I was always bullied as I am a transgender with cleft palate. What would I do?

Answered by
Dr. Aditya Gupta
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Feb 03, 2017

Hi doctor,

I am 26 years old. Since I was a kid, I was always bullied because I was born to be a cleft palate. Also, I am a transgender. My parents, especially my father did not care for me. Instead, he will just keep on scolding me. He will compare me to my other relatives, and he will hurt me. I stop studying in college for almost four years because I was bullied. I envy other people because they were born with no physical defect. In order for me to be appreciated, I just lie to my parents. I seek love to other people and crave for attentions. I pretend to be a girl to my previous and present boyfriend, and I always get hurt. I do not want to hurt anyone, but I cannot help myself to pretend to be a girl with a perfect face because all my life I was always being bullied.

I always want to experience to be normal. For me to escape from reality, I just think of the happiness that I could have with my boyfriend. Although my friend does not know that I am not a real girl and I am not the person he sees me in the picture. There are moments and times that I want to commit suicide because I am so depressed and so problematic in family, school, love life and my future. I have planned that once I got work, I want to have surgery to be a transgender, to be beautiful and so that they will not reject me anymore. Please help me. I cannot understand myself anymore. I am always emotional, but sometimes I am happy. But, most of the time I am very lonely. What would I do?

Dr. Aditya Gupta

Psychiatry Sexology


Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • You are going through a tough time, but it is not your fault. Being born with a cleft or any other anomaly is not under any one's control, and there is no use of thinking about the things that we cannot change.
  • What is in our hand is how we cope with the stressors. Cleft lip can be repaired by surgery. Being gay is not a disease or abnormality, and you have to accept what you are.
  • Others will only respect you if you respect yourself. Do not lie to your family or boyfriend. Express yourself assertively, but without confrontation.
  • Certain things that will help are daily meditation for at least half an hour in the morning and follow a routine and regular exercise.
  • Take balanced diet. You can maintain a stress diary, enter daily events in it uncensored and never read them again. You can also join a self-help group online or offline.
  • Remember that every problem has a solution. You just need to try solving it and that too in a positive way. Help is just a step away.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist

Was this answer helpful?



This is a sponsored Ad. icliniq or icliniq doctors do not endorse the content in the Ad.

Also Read Answers From:

Comprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Related Questions & Answers

An Insight into Mental Health

Article Overview: There is an urgent need in many countries to increase the awareness regarding mental health. The most important task now is to make people understand the concept of mental health correctly and learn how to deal with it and get better. Read Article

Dr. Ashish Khandelwal

A 23-year-old boy, working at a private institution had gradually reduced his interactions with family and friends. He started becoming irregular at work. He used to lie down in his room during the day and not talk to anybody. One day, he was found hanging from his ceiling fan. There was a 20-year-...  Read Article

Can masturbation cause negative thoughts?

Query: Hello doctor, I masturbate daily. I have problem of negative thoughts and going through little depression. Some links says that it is due to masturbation. I am already taking homeopathic medicine for my depression. Please suggest some medicine for depression. I am taking homeopathy medicines for the...  Read Full »

What is the reason for having negative thoughts and vivid dreams?

Query: Hi doctor, My father is 56 years old. He is having negative thoughts and talks about deaths, has a vivid dream with severe sleepiness. He is not enjoying anything which he enjoyed before. He has short-term memory loss. He has fatigue with increased appetite. He has little issue in breathing during ...  Read Full »



Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Psychiatrist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.
Enter Your Health Query
You can upload files and images in the next step.



Disclaimer: All health Q&As published on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek the advice from your physician or other qualified health-care providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website.