Dr. Ashok Kumar
Geriatrics
The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.
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Patient's Query
Hello doctor,
My husband and I had a fight regarding him leaving the house with COVID-19, and I called up his parents to complain. Since then, he keeps saying that we both are separated, he does not want to talk, he does not want us to go out anywhere as a family, and he says that I am just his child’s mother and not his wife. And he has asked me to get separated because he says he is troubled for 12 years. I am lost and confused about his allegations and totally do not understand what to do. I am frustrated with his behavior. Is there a solution to this other than breaking my marriage? He is never open to any communication, and he is not allowing any relatives to interfere, especially his parents, and is saying that I am no longer part of his family. Is there a solution to this emotional abuse?
Hello,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
I read your query and understand your concerns about the recent development in marital life. I like to state that there are definite solutions for the current problem, and it can be solved with communication. Since he is not willing to interfere with the elders of the family, marital counselors or a clinical psychologist is the answer to it. Psychologists are trained to understand the non-verbal communications of an individual and can understand what is there in his mind and can respond appropriately. I request you to approach a psychologist in your city along with your husband. It is important to not complicate it further and resolve it as soon as possible.
Thank you.
Patient's Query
Hello doctor,
Yes, I feel so too. However, bringing in a psychologist I do not want to make it official that my marriage is about to end. What if things do not turn out right? How should the approach to the psychologist be? My husband is only onboard of things when one talks about at the angle of separation otherwise he is just acting funny and misbehaving. I have my values intact and will never break a family but I am not blind when people are disrespectful and emotionally abusive. Yes, I made a mistake in that I screamed and shouted at him because of his bad behavior towards me, but that does not mean he is going to be abusive towards me. It has been a year now. How should my approach to a psychologist be such that it works positively for me and not at an angle that things are on the verge of breaking hence we have approached.
Hello,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
First of all, I like to make it clear that approaching a professional does not mean the marriage is on the verge of breaking. Neither it becomes official. It simply means that there is some serious marital discord due to emotional abuse or misunderstanding or due to low frustration tolerance of one or another partner among a variety of causes. Approaching a marriage counselor simply means that there is something that needs to be addressed from a professional point of view because the couple is unable to do so because of any reason, miscommunication in your case. I like to assure you that professionals know the intricate detail of marital relationships and will definitely help you. While approaching you need to be very clear about what you want from the counseling sessions and share details of each incident in the recent past. This will be a guiding principle for a psychologist to help you out accordingly. Please understand that breaking the marriage is the last thing and can be avoided in most instances provided there is proper communication between the partners. I hope this helps you further.
Thank you.
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Geriatrics
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