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Counseling for Newlyweds

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Counseling for Newlyweds

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Do not wait until a problem to seek marriage counseling. Counseling can help newlyweds with their communication skills, sexual relationship, and much more.

Medically reviewed by

Dr. Anuthanyaa. R

Published At April 10, 2015
Reviewed AtAugust 8, 2023

Most people enter the marriage life with unrealistic expectations of a dream life influenced by some popular songs and movies. But soon their dreams are shattered and their married life gets ruined before it takes off.

Ideally, couples should seek premarital counseling before getting married. However, some married couples wait until they have problems, in that case they should seek ‘marriage counseling for newly weds’. They can also seek such counseling, even if they have no issues, to make the marriage life better.

How Do Marriage Counselors Help?

  • Marriage counselors talk with the married couples to either help them handle marital problems or to make their married life better. Marriage counselors help the couple in conflict resolution skills and communication skills.
  • A marriage counselor may talk with the couple together or may talk with each one individually.
  • Doing this allows each spouse to feel comfortable about expressing their feelings.
  • Most often newly weds are advised by friends and family members.
  • Such advice may not be reliable and be prejudiced.
  • It must be understood that the couple are individuals who have lived different life styles but, after marriage they live together.
  • They were brought up differently, have different personalities, habits and attitudes, which clash when they live together.
  • This leads to problems which can be solved by counseling.

Communication Skills

  • Talking with each other is the most important thing for a happy married life, it solves many problems.
  • The couple can talk about the day’s activities.
  • They should talk about their interests, about their life experiences, friends and anything under the sun.
  • Listening to the spouse is as important as expressing one’s thought.
  • While talking no negative comments should be made and one should listen to the spouse’s talk and encourage them to talk.

Bringing in Variety

  • Couple should not get caught up in routines.
  • They can bring variety by dressing differently, talking on various topics, listening to a song together or just by taking a walk.
  • Attention should be paid towards the spouse and a compliment often does wonders.
  • The couple should look good to each other and ask the spouse about her/his preferences.
  • The sexual act should be taken as a play and not as a duty.

Give Some Freedom

  • Just because one is married, it does not mean one should expect from the spouse to abandon everyone and everything that existed in life before marriage.
  • The spouse should be given time and space to interact with friends and family and also to pursue their career and interests.
  • One should not try to ‘control the spouse.
  • Both the partners have to make adjustments to make their spouse comfortable.

Regarding Conception and Pregnancy

  • Young couples should wait at least one year to have children. This gives them time to build a good foundation for a family.
  • The couple get closer and will have the maturity to resolve any problems or any serious issues before bringing a child into their life.
  • As the frequency and timing of intercourse is uncertain in newlyweds, the OCP gives protection round the clock.
  • The woman should be medically examined to see if they are fit to take OCP.
  • Misconceptions about OCP are much prevalent, but it is one of the safest drugs.
  • It has been used by millions of women all over the world for more than half a century.
  • Condom can be used as a regular contraception too, but the cost and failure rate is higher, and it may not be available at the time of need.

How Do Sexual Problems Develop?

  • Sex is a vital part of the marriage relationship.
  • Most of the problems arise when the sex life is not satisfying for both partners.
  • If there are physical problems affecting the performance, one should consult a doctor and discuss the situation along with the spouse.
  • The stress and strain of everyday life can distract the couple and steal away the leisure and pleasure from the marriage life.
  • Couples should keep some time for each other and learn to relax in each other’s company.
  • Most of the sexual problems in newly weds are due to misconceptions and lack of knowledge about sex.
  • Usually the couple learn about sexual behavior from friends and quite often the information is wrong or inflated.
  • There is no rule for sexual activity, each couple is different and what is good for one may not be good for another.
  • One golden rule is not to compare self with others.
  • In most cases the husband cannot develop satisfactory sexual relationship due to lack of knowledge, communication gap and due to anxiety.
  • Both the partners should be examined and treated.
  • Common sexual problems are lack of penetration and quick ejaculation (premature ejaculation). Both the conditions can be treated easily with drugs and counseling.

What Are The Misconceptions about Sexual Relationship?

  • Frequent sexual activity is needed in young couples: The frequency of sex depends on the mutual understanding and may not be much frequent. The couple should discuss and make adjustments with the spouse.
  • Small penis size decreases performance: The small size of male organ is a very rare occurrence and the size does not matter if performance is adequate.
  • Pain and Bleeding should occur in the first attempt: Pain and bleeding are not essential on the first attempt of sexual intercourse. It may happen or may not happen. It is no indication about the virginity of the wife.

What Are The Benefits of Counseling for Newly Weds?

  • Couples learn the communication skills to resolve conflict in a healthy manner and how to state their needs clearly and openly without resentment or anger.
  • Marriage counseling offers a safe environment for expressing any unhappiness the couples feel. Getting the feelings out with a trained professional is of great help.
  • Physical relationship skills needed to maintain a fulfilling marriage could be learned. A marriage counselor can teach the couple those skills while monitoring the progress with couple’s feedback.

The couple should not wait too long to seek a marriage counselor. Even if the couple feel it is too late and no amount of counseling will help they should still seek professional help. Doing so will keep the couple from making a mistake that they may regret later.

Consult a psychologist counsellor online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychologist-counsellor

Frequently Asked Questions

1.

What Therapy Is Considered Best for Married Couples?

The therapy which is considered best for married couples is cognitive behavior therapy. It focuses on the influence of thoughts on the behavior of a person. It is one of the common forms of therapy used in individuals as well as couples.

2.

What Is the Best Advice for Newly Married?

One of the best pieces of advice for newly married couples is to communicate. Communication is the key to success in every relationship. It can resolve the differences formed or misunderstandings between couples.

3.

What Should Be Discussed About In Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling focuses on breaking the differences between couples. It helps to understand each other better in terms of relationships. It is the best option practiced to reconsider the marriage.

4.

How Soon Is Considered Too Soon for Couple Therapy?

Just after two months of marriage, couple therapy is considered too soon. If the differences start within one month of marriage, then it is considered a matter to worry about. The therapy should be performed when required or if it becomes mandatory to consult to avoid complications.

5.

How Often Should Couples Go on Therapy?

The couple who thinks that things are going out of control or are not able to manage the relationship often chooses to go weekly or even twice a week for therapy. It all depends upon the level of differences and compatibility between couples. The couple can choose to go anytime when they feel there are no chances to develop compatibility.

6.

Why is the First Year of Marriage Considered Hard?

The first year of marriage is considered hard as both couples have to compromise their needs and time accordingly. The discovery of intimacy can be hard as well as joyous and may take time. It takes almost one year to learn to express thoughts and feelings. It always takes time to understand each other and each other's environment.

7.

What Is the Hardest Thing Considered in Marriage?

The hardest part of marriage is compromise. It involves compromising needs, time, and places. The girl has to leave her father and mother, which is the hardest thing for a person who has lived with her family all her life and now has to adapt to new people in life.

8.

What Is the Major Cause of Divorce?

The major cause of divorce is usually miscommunication. Presuming and assuming are usually associated with this issue. Financial burdens or family issues, when not discussed, lead to separation and divorce.

9.

What Are the Signs Associated With Failing Marriage?

Miscommunication, lack of intimacy, trust, and disrespect are the signs associated with failing marriages. Failing marriage can only be saved by adjusting and compromising. Lack of communication is the biggest sign of a failing marriage.

10.

What Are the Various Signs of an Unhappy Husband?

The signs of an unhappy husband are a lack of interest in communicating and staying with his wife. An unhappy husband may focus on his professional life more than his personal life. He will not be interested in spending with his wife.

11.

What Does an Unhappy Marriage Seems Like?

An unhappy marriage is a relationship in which one or both partners do not feel attached. Instead of a married couple, they often feel more like roommates. Being in an unhappy marriage often breeds resentment, hopelessness, and isolation.

12.

Who Mostly Sufferers in Divorce?

According to research, men suffer more in divorce than women. Men usually have a difficult time after a split in a relationship. The suffering after divorce can last even after two years. In addition, females feel more liberated than their male counterparts after a divorce.

13.

What Problems Are Faced by Married Couples?

The common problems faced by married couples are communication issues, lack of sexual intimacy, value differences, and ignoring boundaries. The fight over money also constitutes one of the common problems faced by couples.

14.

What Is the Average Age of Divorce in Couples?

The average age at which the couple undergoes divorce is usually 30 years old. Although divorce can occur at any age. The only way to save a marriage is to understand and communicate. However, the divorce rate has doubled for people over 50 years.

15.

Are Second Marriages Considered Successful?

According to some surveys, 20 % of second marriages do not lead to divorce. Second marriage can be successful as people learn not to repeat past mistakes. The success of second marriage also depends upon mutual understanding and compatibility.
Source Article IclonSourcesSource Article Arrow
Dr. Purushottam Sah
Dr. Purushottam Sah

Obstetrics and Gynecology

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pregnancysexual healthpremarital counselingcontraceptive pill
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