Introduction
When one member of a couple experiences more or less sexual desire than their partner, the sexual desire discrepancy arises, which is among the main reasons couples take therapy. In some cases, both partners, after a long relationship, may lose the desire for sexual intercourse. Maintainance sex is the way to maintain healthy sexual functions and relationship satisfaction in a long-term relationship. This article provides information on the strategies people in long-term relationships use during times of discrepancy in sexual desire.
What does the maintenance sex mean?
Sexual desire is a feeling of wanting to engage in a sexual encounter. Sexual desire discrepancy occurs when one partner's desire is stronger or less than the other person in the bond. Despite having a sexual desire discrepancy, engaging in sexual intercourse is called maintenance sex to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Generally, maintenance sex is scheduling the sex or maintaining some number of sexual encounters per week or month fixed, whether one or both partners are sexually aroused.
What Are the Different Factors That May Cause Sexual Discrepancy?
A systematic review is an overview of factors that influence sexual discrepancy, and these factors influencing sexual desire can be interpersonal, societal, and individual, as given below.
Individualized Factors:
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Lack of attraction toward a partner.
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Hormonal disturbances.
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Self-esteem issues.
Interpersonal Factors:
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Long relationship.
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Lack of relationship satisfaction.
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Communication issues.
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Lack of emotional intimacy.
Societal Factors:
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Gendered expectations.
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Attitude toward sex.
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Egalitarianism (expression of the idea that all people should be equal).
When Is Maintenance Sex Required in a Relationship?
A recent study found that couples are generally in sync with each other's sexual desire, which is high and low simultaneously. Still, there may be regular instances of sexual desire discrepancies. The engaged study used cross-spectral and spectral analysis to identify a cycle in sexual desire and found that individuals accepted periodic fluctuations in sexual desire over a month, establishing that there may be regular and predictable fluctuations in sexual desire. Suppose the loss of sexual desire is natural; in that case, it is very unlikely that partners will always be in sync, making a sexual desire discrepancy inescapable and probably problematic for the relationship unless some strategy like maintenance sex is employed to mitigate this phase.
What Are the Consequences of the Implementation and Non-implementation of Maintenance Sex?
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Implementation of Maintenance Sex:
Study results indicated that couples who did nothing to combat sexually desired discrepancy with their partner had decreased levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction compared to couples who addressed the sexual desire discrepancy by maintaining sex.
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Non-Implementation of Maintenance Sex:
Studies data establish that participants engaged in communication or alternative activity with their partner reported higher levels of sexual and relationship satisfaction. In addition, some very effective combat strategies, such as maintenance sex, can provide the highest levels of both sexual and relationship satisfaction.
What Are the Different Strategies to Aid the Maintenance of Sex?
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Mood Setting:
To get in the mood and induce sexual desire, a person can get help from reading erotic novels, erotic media stimulations, or masturbation.
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Communication:
Conversing about ideas regarding sexual activity and discussing individual sexual desires is also paramount for maintaining sex.
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Focus on Foreplay:
People can enhance their sexual experience by spending more time on foreplay, that is, touching, kissing, hugging, and using sex toys and other forms of sensual activities, because having a better sexual experience may increase a person's desire for sex, thereby aiding in the maintenance of sex.
Why Do People Participate in Maintenance Sex?
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Some people have stated that their sexual desire is often responsive, so engaging in maintenance sex can provoke and induces their sexual desire and arousal.
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Some participants engaged in sex without sexual desire reported doing so to protect their partner's feelings.
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Some people may engage in maintenance sex to preserve the relationship and for the relationship's well-being.
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Some people do it out of obligation to satisfy their partner's sexual needs.
What Are the Pros of Maintenance Sex?
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When dealing with mismatched sexual desires, there are chances of slipping into unintentional sexual abstinence. For the prevention of such scenarios, maintaining sex is helpful.
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Scheduling the maintenance of sex helps sustain physical intimacy in couples busy in life due to work, study, children, or other family responsibilities.
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Scheduling the maintenance sex beforehand can also give couples something to look forward to. In addition, they can get time to add elements to make sex more thrilling such as deciding the place, position, and props for forthcoming sex.
What Are the Cons of Maintenance Sex?
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While there are so many benefits of maintenance sex, some may feel this type of sex to be more forced and a form of non-consent sex, as another person lacks the desire to engage in the sex. in a couple, the person lacks the desire for sexual activity may feel the pressure of doing and performing sexual intercourse.
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One drawback of pre-scheduling maintenance sex is that it becomes routine, so there is little to no room for impulsive, spontaneous sex.
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Sometimes, maintenance sex may mask underlying medical issues associated with low sexual desire, painful sex, and reduced sexual arousal.
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It may leave conflicts among couples unresolved and hamper emotional intimacy, as building intimacy not associated with sex is also essential for a healthy relationship.
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Ultimately, the maintenance sex may feel tedious and become boring over time.
Conclusion:
In a long-term relationship, it is essential to identify and resolve the sexual desire discrepancy issues, to maintain well-being, emotional attachment, and sexual satisfaction in a couple. Sexual passion and function depend on regular maintenance of sexual activity. However, ultimately both partners can decide for themselves if implementing scheduled sex can truly strengthen their relationship. If maintaining sex makes one of the partners uncomfortable, a couple's sexual therapy must be considered. However, suppose both partners are equally on board with this venture to find time for the scheduled day for interrupted sex. In that case, maintenance of sex can help improve their libido and the overall quality of their sexual life and relationship.
