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Q. My girlfriend shows some behavioral changes. How to get her normal?

Answered by
Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Aug 12, 2016 and last reviewed on: Jul 04, 2020

Hi doctor,

My girlfriend has suddenly shown some behavioral changes. I know that she loves me a lot and I am with her past the 1 year and 2 months. However, some days back, she said that she has fallen for somebody in her office, who is married and has a kid. One fine day this guy from her office asked her why she looks so frustrated and she says that she fell for him since then. When I tried to resist, she reacted aggressively to pursue that relation. She said that she will come back to me once she is done with that relation. When I asked her about that guy's wife, she said that it is not her concern. What kind of behavior is this? How do I get her back? She has been having a lot of stress with respect to her career and professional life. Kindly guide me if she needs psychiatric help.

Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatry Psychotherapy Sexology
#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I can understand your concern.

  • First of all I would like to tell you that such type of sudden behavior change can be observed in depressive disorders or in personality issues. Another rare possibility is some relationship issue.
  • She has fallen for a married man and this is really alarming. Try to find out if she is under some job related pressure. If that guy is her boss, then she could be doing all this under pressure. 
  • Another thing is some relationship issue. How deep is the relationship between you both? Is there any recent history of frequent fights? Was she getting enough time from you?
  • Sometimes, under relationship stress females start behaving weirdly. Reassurances again and again result in correction of the problem.
  • If both these things are not there, then she needs evaluation by a psychiatrist. In depression with psychotic symptoms an individual might show sudden changes in behavior.
  • She is falling for a married guy with whom she has no future. This thing is not right for her and even then she is not changing.
  • If she becomes alright, then talk to her in detail. Ask the reasons why she would like to go with that guy. If she agrees, then consult a psychiatrist for her.
  • The behavioral changes are sudden and this also points towards some psychotic issue. Antidepressants would help her to come out of the symptoms. No need to worry.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist


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Thank you doctor,

There has not been any frequent fights as such. However, she recently lost getting admission into one of the MBA programs, which was her dream for the past 1 year. Also, she fought with her dad recently and has not been talking to him for one month. Our relationship has always been on a good note though we are in a long distance relationship. Do you think this could be because she did not make it to her MBA program? Any thoughts on how to get her back to normal?

Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatry Psychotherapy Sexology
#

Hello,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

Though it is difficult to comment, but in my opinion the reasons for her sudden change in behavior are as follows:

  • One reason is her fluctuating career in education as well as job. Difficulty in job and studies result in significant stress and this results in frequent fights with loved ones.
  • She fought with her father, which is also a significant issue resulting in emotional turmoil. In such mentally stressful situation, she is not finding the right way to cope and is behaving weirdly.
  • Yours is a long distance relationship and in a long distance relationship, it is not easy to give good time to each other.
  • As she is already going through significant stress and in such situation she probably need someone who can stay near her when she is in need. This is the probable reason she has found emotional dependency even in a married man elder to her.
  • I would advise you to take leave from your work and start meeting her often. With time she will open up and will tell you any reasons behind the issue. She would start thinking normal again.

For further doubts consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist


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