I am 20 years old and I am in a relationship which is draining me emotionally, physically and mentally. But I am still giving it chances because the guy I am with probably loves me a lot, cries at the thought of leaving me and is loyal to me. I cannot decide. I cannot just leave. I am stuck in a vicious circle. He controls me, he does not trust me even if I do not lie or do anything. He thinks I am making a fool of him and doing other things and being disloyal even though I am not. I give explanations every time and he does not believe. Every time I have to answer his investigations. I feel like I am controlled. I cannot wear what I want to. I can not go wherever I want to because he does not trust me even though I am doing nothing wrong or nothing to break his trust. I do not know what is keeping me from leaving. I have been with him for the past six years and I love him but I do not feel the happiness anymore. Maybe I cannot let go because of the fear of leaving or the love or the idea of not being with him. I need help.
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I can understand what you are going through right now. People are difficult to understand at times. Currently, I think you are being psychologically or emotionally abused. The guy controls your life, your freedom, your decisions on everything, hurts you, blame you unnecessary (being dishonest) still claim to love you. This is exactly what happens when one is psychologically abused. To stop this, you need to take some bold decisions, do not show your dependency on him, pretend as if you do not care about him being hurt, take your own decisions, take strict actions when he blames about your infidelity. Your self-respect is the most important thing. Further, if you need any help we can discuss the matter.
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