ADVERTISEMENT

Q. I am stressed with my inability and erection problem. Please help.

Answered by
Dr. Pankaj Mittal
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Feb 05, 2017 and last reviewed on: Apr 07, 2021

Hi doctor,

I am 31 years old. I have been married for four years now and have a 2.5 year old kid. The problem is that I hardly ever feel to have sex with my wife. I started noticing this issue after a couple of weeks into the marriage. I get an erection at the initial stage, but cannot sustain the erection for intercourse. But, I am getting the erection while watching porn and I am also able to masturbate. A year back, after several fights broke out due to this issue, we decided to visit a clinical psychologist, which turned out to be a humiliating experience for me. At first, he had separate chats with both of us, and then we were called in together, and he made a character assassination of myself in front of my wife. The remarks made by the clinical psychologist is still used by my wife as a sort of weapon during arguments, which is turning to be a daily affair in our lives now. Every remote incident is being connected to my inability to have sex with my wife, and I think it is getting bad to worse nowadays. Kindly help with this issue. Thank you.

ADVERTISEMENT
#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • It can be considered as selective anoragasmia. Here the more important part that only with your wife you do not have feelings for intimation during intercourse or difficulty in sustaining erections, while you have good erections while watching porn and masturbation.
  • I would like to know the status of the relationship between you and your wife since courtship or before that. Was this marriage according to your wish.
  • How were your interactions during courtship? Do you have any kind of sex chat that time?
  • What kind of personality has your wife? Do you have any feelings of sex with your wife since marriage? Do you feel any distractions during intercourse?
  • How much time do you take to ejaculate during masturbation? Is there any anxiety issues with you like work related stress or any other? Do you feel depressed since long?
  • Before going into the proper treatment, I need answers to these questions because in such conditions the most common cause is the strained relationship between spouse. The other causes are issues related to privacy, home situation and conditions, etc.
  • Also, if there is no feeling to do sex, then it could be because of anxiety and depressive features since long. First, I would like to exclude these conditions so that I will be able to guide you properly.
  • You also mentioned here that you can get erections while masturbation but you have not mentioned about ejaculation.
  • If these problems are not there, then it will be very easy to treat you otherwise, we have more work upon your relationship issues. Please provide me with all answers, so I will be able to help you in a more coordinated way.

Revert with the answers to the above questions to a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist

Hi doctor,

Thank you for the reply. Please find the details. It was an arranged marriage with consent. During courtship, I had limited interactions only over the phone, and we did have sex chats. My wife is a very conservatively brought up girl. She is not that outgoing. During the initial days of marriage, I did have an urge for sex. I have not experienced any distractions during intercourse. During masturbation, I will ejaculate in a reasonably good time. There is no quick ejaculation. I do not have any anxiety issue. My only point of stress is my inability. I have started to feel low nowadays.

#

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

Thanks for giving me all answers, which I was seeking for proper treatment.

  • It seems that you have poor interaction regarding sexual talks with your wife. As you have mentioned here that your wife seems too conservative on these issues it also aids loss of erection during intercourse.
  • I would like to give you some tips to improve this problem. The most important is sensate focusing techniques (set of sexual exercise for couples). For this, we need marital unit instead of you alone. This particular method requires your wife with you for the session, and then male and female psychiatrist both will tell you to use these techniques separately and together.
  • I would like to advise you to indulge more and more in foreplay with your wife and make senses on some specific areas. I think you know all about foreplay.Indulge more and more foreplay in keeping you sexually active.
  • Keep talking to your partner, and it may include sex chat too. You may watch some erotic movies with her.
  • Regarding medicines, I suggest you tablet Tadalafil 10 mg once in a week at least 4 hours before intercourse. This will act for seven days.
  • If Tadalafil did not work for seven days, then you can also take this tablet as on alternate day basis. It will help you. Consult your specialist doctor, discuss with him or her and take medicine with consent.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist

Hi doctor,

Thank you for the valuable advice. I had tried foreplay, but eventually, I rush through things before I lose the erection. Further, how do I procure the medicine?

#

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

  • It seems that you indulge in foreplay just for the sake of getting or maintaining the erection. A sexual act is an art, so do not rush things. Enjoy sexual act.
  • Never thought of maintaining the erection or do not go for intercourse just for the sake of erection.
  • Always go and remain slow while in foreplay. Your partner should be more active in your case. She should initiate all activities even sexual movements, and your wife should not make any negative remark during intercourse also.
  • You can procure the medicine with the help of your general practitioner.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist


Was this answer helpful?

 | 

Same symptoms doesn’t mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!



Related Questions:
What is the first step to make my sex life happy?

But, there were no problem with my masturbation count ...   Read full

I suffer from premature ejaculation and poor erection.I have tried herbal/ayurveda products with no results at all.Please help.

Hello doctor, My sister is having severe stomach ache and yellow vomiting and the pain goes around her abdomen to the back. She is suffering from this pain for the past one week. Please help.   Read full

Can a rough foreplay be a cause for a bump inside my vagina?

Hello doctor, My sister is having severe stomach ache and yellow vomiting and the pain goes around her abdomen to the back. She is suffering from this pain for the past one week. Please help.   Read full

Also Read Answers From:

ideaComprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Also Read


Monkeypox Virus - Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, Complications, and Prevention
Monkeypox is a zoonotic viral disease. This virus got its name as it was first noticed in laboratory monkeys in the late...  Read more»
Tomato Fever - Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prevention
Tomato fever is an unidentified and fast-spreading type of viral infection seen in young children. Scroll down to know m...  Read more»
Histrionic Personality Disorder - Causes, Signs, Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment
Histrionic personality disorder causes variations in the thinking ability of a person. Read this article to know more.  Read more»

Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Psychiatrist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.

Disclaimer: No content published on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website. Read our Editorial Process to know how we create content for health articles and queries.