Q. Why do I not get an erection with my new partner?

Answered by
Dr. Ramchandra Lamba
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 18, 2018 and last reviewed on: Nov 07, 2022

Hello doctor,

I am not confident and cannot get an erection with this new partner. I am depressed, and this is nothing new to me. I dated her before, and it was the same thing. She intimidates me; this does not happen with other partners I have had. Please help me.

I know the problem is completely in my head, but I cannot relax because all I am thinking about is failing her.



Welcome to

Probably, you are suffering from erectile dysfunction situational type. Two different approaches can manage it:

  1. Non-drug - Dual sex therapy and behavioral therapy.
  2. Drug treatment includes Sildenafil, Vardenafil, Tadalafil, Phentolamine, etc.

It is difficult to explain non-drug therapy here. So, you can consult a psychiatrist in person to learn how to practice it. But, once you learn it, it is quite an effective method.

Drug therapy can manage erectile dysfunction, but these are prescription-only drugs. So, you need the same to buy. Sometimes, excessive preoccupation with the same thing can also lead to a similar problem. As you failed with this girl earlier, now you fear it will happen again. Try to imagine that you are with a different person in that situation. This might help you overcome anxiety.

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