Hi doctor,
I am a 40 year old male. I do not think I am depressed as such. I am doing everything fine and having a happy family life. But, something is troubling me since a year or so. I get anger, mostly by remembering old incidents, sometimes incidents from my childhood. Mostly involving my father, who did many wrongs to me. I get angry by remembering these events. Mostly, turn violent mentally. It causes an immediate mood-swing, but everything becomes normal instantly, as I come out of it very quickly. It goes off in a flash. Initially, these convulsions were only internal. I mean that I just had them in my mind. But slowly, they have begun to surface. It became readable on my face, and sometimes I make gestures responding to them mostly when I am alone. My wife has complained a few times that I keep saying something alone, at times. My 5 year old kid have also asked me at times as he has seen anger on my face because of no reason. Sometimes, it comes when I am driving, and I react to that by increasing the speed or harsh overtaking. I take control as soon as I realize that I did it. It happens more if I drive alone. People give me looks as they see something on my face. I work as a software engineer. I work on complex projects and doing my job successfully. This problem is not affecting me right now, but later it might if the things get further out of hand. I try to avoid these thoughts actively, but they do surface. I tried meditating to calm the mind. Do not know if it is working. Based on my symptoms, do you think I am suffering from a mental ailment? Obviously, the things are not normal. What do you call this kind of behavior? Should I see a psychiatrist?
Hi,
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