I lack desire for sexual intimacy. Is there any chance it could be something deeper psychologically?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am a male. My wife and I have a sexless marriage life. This is because of my lack of desire for sexual intimacy. We are very emotionally intimate (massage, kisses, hugs, sweet words) every day, but every time she wants to take it further, I do not want to. I do not want to be “turned on.” I love the sweetness of our relationship without having sex. I do not want to be with anyone else. We have been married for nine years, and most of that time, we have been sexless. We were very active at the beginning of our marriage for about a year or two, and then we stopped. I do not masturbate and am not turned on when I am by myself. No history of sexual abuse. I have had my testosterone tested, and it came back with normal average results. My wife has had enough and wants to know why I do not want to be sexually intimate with her, and for so long. I do not know the deeper psychological reasons behind my lack of desire, possibly even fear, other than it seems so much nicer not to have sex. I offered to buy some herbs that help with low libido, and she is not satisfied with that. She wants to know the reason why. Can you please throw out some possible causes for this based on my background? I want to have some directions I can explore as to why.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understood what you have been going through, and I am here to help you out.

May I know if you have any difficulty in erection while you both are having intimacy?

Do you have erections when you both kiss each other?

Do you have any premature ejaculation of semen within 1 to 2 minutes?

May I know why there is a fear of having sexual intercourse? Any particular reason you want to mention?

Answer 2

Hello,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

I understood that the problem is arising due to erectile dysfunction and also loss of sexual desire. It is termed hypoactive sexual desire. I recommend you to consult a psychiatrist nearby in your country for prescription of medications. You will need medications for the same so that you will have normal sexual desires soon.

Good luck.

If there is anything else I can help you out with, please do not hesitate to ask.

Answer 3

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

Yes, there is a possibility of a psychological cause. As you mentioned, stopping having sex has caused erectile dysfunction, and also, the fear you are having might be the cause. Suppose there is any other stress in your life at work or any other stress financially. These would also be causing you such issues. Basically, stress can be the leading cause of erectile dysfunction. I suggest you get rid of the fears you are having and start having sex frequently to get back your interest which you had previously, and eventually, there are high chances that your erectile dysfunction to subside.