Grief is the natural response to losing something or someone who you formed feelings for. You may feel sad and lonely, which can be due to the death of a loved one, loss of a job, after a breakup, or any other event that alters your life drastically.
Grief is the natural response to losing something or someone who you formed feelings for. You may feel sad and lonely, which can be due to the death of a loved one, loss of a job, after a breakup, or any other event that alters your life drastically. Grief can also be caused by a chronic illness or moving to a new place or staying alone. Everyone grieves differently, you may cry, get angry, feel withdrawn, or feel empty, but with the right support and by getting help at the right time, you can heal.
The following losses can result in grief:
Death of a loved one.
Losing a job.
Loss of friendship.
Loss of a dream.
Death of a pet.
Moving to a new place.
Some of the emotional symptoms associated with grief are:
Inability to show joy.
Problems in accepting reality.
Losing the sense of purpose.
Lack of trust.
Grief is not entirely an emotional response, it can have physical symptoms like:
If left untreated, grief can lead to mental and physical health problems. If you notice that your symptoms are getting worse, and if your loss is affecting your health, consult your doctor immediately.
As everyone grieves differently, the phase in which you are depends on how you come to terms with your loss. There are five stages of grief, which are:
Denial - People often respond to intense and sudden feelings of loss by pretending that it never happened. It is a common defense mechanism, which makes people temporary numb to the severity of the situation. It also gives people more time to absorb and process the news. But once the person is out of the denial phase, all the hidden emotions come out, which can be hard to deal with.
Anger - Some people might not know how to express their emotions and pain, and end up getting angry at the person who died, the old boss, or the ex. You may realize that the person you are angry at is not to blame, but the feeling of loss is too great to be dealt with. Once the anger subsides, people start thinking clearly and feel the emotions that they have been pushing aside all this time.
Bargaining - In this stage of grieving, people look for a way to regain control or to change the outcome of the events that lead to grief. They keep thinking about the things they could have done or think about ways that the unfortunate incident could have been avoided. Most individuals make deals or promises with God in exchange for relief from their feelings.
Depression - This is a quiet stage of grief. Here, people try to isolate themselves to cope with the loss, which can be difficult and overwhelming. You may feel confused and foggy. Depression is inevitable after any loss, but you should come out of it eventually. If you feel stuck and start having suicidal thoughts, consult a mental health professional immediately.
Acceptance - Acceptance does not really mean that the person is happy or has moved past the grief or loss, but it means that the individual has accepted the loss to be a part of his or her life now.
George Bonanno is a professor of clinical psychology, who conducted scientific studies on grief and trauma. He studied people who suffered loss from war, terrorism, deaths of children and spouses, sexual abuse, childhood HIV, and other traumatic events. The four trajectories of grief described by him are:
Resilience - It is the ability of an individual under normal circumstances who even after being exposed to a potentially highly disruptive event is able to maintain healthy levels of physical and psychological functioning.
Recovery - Here, after the symptoms of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the person returns to normal functioning after a few months.
Chronic Dysfunction - This usually lasts for many years, and is characterized by prolonged suffering and inability to function.
Delayed Grief or Trauma - Here, the person seems to be adjusting to the loss, but then months later, the symptoms increase.
Complicated grief disorder (CGD) or prolonged grief disorder (PGD) or persistent complex bereavement disorder, is a pathological reaction to loss. Individuals with CGD show symptoms of grief for more than 6 months. Here, the painful emotions are very long-lasting and severe that the person has trouble recovering and resuming a normal life. Complicated grief can be treated with complicated grief therapy, which is a type of psychotherapy.
CGD affects individuals from all age group, and females are more susceptible than males. Roughly 2.4 % to 4.8 % of people have this disorder.
Some environmental and biological factors that are linked with the onset of CGD are:
Poor social support.
Taking care of a deceased prior to death.
Complicated grief can cause mental, physical, and emotional complications like:
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
High blood pressure.
Alcohol and substance abuse.
The following tips may help you cope:
Learn to manage stress.
Get enough rest, eat healthily, and exercise.
Physical activity will help relieve stress, depression, and anxiety.
Do not isolate yourself. Stay connected with your family and friends.
Join a support group.
It is important to acknowledge and accept the loss, as rejecting and trying to keep your emotions bottled up might be unhealthy. And if you feel you or a friend is not able to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, and if it is affecting the daily activities, get help from psychiatrists online.
The seven stages of grief include denial, shock, anger, bargaining, testing, depression, and acceptance. Each stage has its own psychological influence and importance.
There is no designated time duration for how long grief lasts, or how should a person feel after a particular time. The depth and duration of grief are different in different people based on their nature and the cause of grief. For some people, even after twelve months, it may still feel as if everything happened yesterday, or it might feel that it all happened a lifetime ago. These are some of the feelings a person might experience when he or she is coping with grief for a longer-term.
In life, one of the most difficult experiences in any human being would be losing a loved one. Different people cope with grief differently. Some people recover on their own. Some people seek help from family and friends, and even some would need a psychologist to cope up with grief.
Complicated grief is defined as a type of grief that is complicated by adjustment disorders that present with depression and anxious mood swings or disturbing emotional cycle and behavior. The causes of complicated grief might be a major depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. Complicated grief is identified in individuals by the extended length of time of the symptoms of grief.
When your loved one, a family member, or a friend is grieving through a loss, you can help them out by being a good listener. It also involves respecting the person's way of grieving, accepting their mood swings, avoiding giving advice and opinions, refraining from trying to explain the loss again to them, and helping out with giving them practical tasks. Above all, it is essential to stay connected and available when they mentally need you and offer kind and warm words that touch the heart.
According to Psychology, grief is a psychological-emotional experience that is followed by a loss. It might be of any kind, such as a relationship, status, job, house, game, income, etc., But in case of bereavement, it is a specific type of grief related to the death of a loved one a friend.
According to medical dictionaries, abnormal grief is defined as a prolonged, difficult, complicated behavioral and emotional response to a severe and traumatic loss of a close friend or family member.
There were scientific brain scans of people experiencing grief done for research purposes. Those scans explained that loss, grief, and traumas could impact a person's emotional and physical processes. During grief, it is found to create a response from the brain that is sensory oriented, and protective to the loss. The brain perceives loss and grief as a threat and the amygdala portions of this system instruct the body to resist grief.
Mental exhaustion of grief that leads to physical tiredness is one of the most common early signs of grief. The person explains the tiredness felt as a feeling of being extremely tired all the time that results in a messy daily routine.
Yes, studies have proved that people can really die from grief. Especially when grief is brought on by losing a spouse or any important person related to the person, grief can cause severe progressive inflammation that can lead to major depression, a heart attack, or even premature death.
Since every loss, no matter how expected, especially when it comes to losing loved ones, it will be accompanied by stress and disorientation. Grief is not an exception to stress; thus, grief can cause stress.
The immune system of our body is responsible for fighting infections. It mediates through inflammation as a fight response. Grief has been proved to affect the inflammatory process by increasing it progressively significantly. This can be life-threatening if untreated over a long period of time.
Grief can be identified through a combination of emotional symptoms. That might include increased irritability, numbness, detachment from the people, and surrounding’s inability to show and experience joy. This could be personally overwhelming the person. It is essential for these people to either seek help from family, friends, or psychologists by themselves or as being friends or family members to these people we ought to help them.
The multiple emotions in grief could increase blood pressure and the risk of thrombosis. When a person is going through intense grief, it can alter the heart muscle's normal anatomy that causes "broken heart syndrome," a form of heart disease with the same symptoms as a heart attack.
Ambiguous grief is defined as a loss that occurs without closure or a clear understanding of the person's conscience. This kind of grief will leave the person searching for answers, and thus he or she complicates and delays the process of grieving at the moment of loss, which often results in unresolved grief.
The testing stage of grief is an overlooked stage of grief. When a person experiences through the different stages of grief one by one, they may arrive at a period of testing at any instance. This stage of grief is similar to the bargaining stage, but it typically occurs later. During the testing stage, the person will experiment with different ways to manage their grief constantly.
The fifth stage of grief is called the acceptance stage. It is noted to be the most difficult one among all the stages. The process of grieving is described as having cycles or stages.
Grief is defined as a combination of mental, physical, social, or emotional reactions. Mental reactions usually include anger, guilt, anxiety, etc. Bereavement is known as the period after a loss in which grief is experienced, and mourning occurs as a symptom.
In the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle, the fourth stage is the one that includes desperate bargaining. Once the anger has been blown out, the next stage presents with desperate negotiation, where the affected person seeks ways to avoid that the bad thing has happened. Bargaining is a vain expression of hope that the affected people think the bad news is reversible.
The different ways you can help someone grieving are by offering hope through your words and actions, reaching out to know if they need your help,
helping them assist with meals, and listening to them well instead of advising. It is essential to note to avoid judgments and opinions on these people, which might further hurt them.
Talking to a grieving person should be done in a careful manner. Because anything we might tell them can make them hurt and vulnerable. So it is important not to tell a grieving person how to feel. It is better to listen and add words to what they speak, which might comfort them more than opinions and judgments.
Last reviewed at:
03 Feb 2020 - 5 min read
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