Hello doctor,
I am pursuing a postgraduate degree at an institute and have been married for seven years. Unfortunately, I am living apart from my wife and children. Due to specific issues, I started my PG course a decade later than my peers. While I can finally pursue it, separation from my kids has affected my emotional well-being. This sadness has started to impact my work, causing me to fall behind my younger peers by 7 to 10 years. Consequently, my confidence level has significantly decreased.
To address my concerns, I sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed me Paroxetine and Propranolol. However, apart from Propranolol, the prescribed medication did not provide me with the desired relief. Subsequently, I took it upon myself to try Fluoxetine and later Escitalopram, which provided some relief but inconsistently. There were moments when I felt confident, while at other times, I experienced anxiety, helplessness, and low confidence.
The main issue that has led me to seek assistance here is extreme shyness and discomfort around women. As an introvert, I have never been at ease around females, but the problem has escalated tremendously. I feel incredibly timid in their presence and struggle to maintain eye contact. As a result, I avoid eye contact altogether, which unintentionally gives the impression that I am flirting with them. This behavior persists regardless of the person's appearance or age, ranging from teenagers to elderly women. To my dismay, some of my female teachers, above 50, mistakenly believe I am infatuated with them. This situation feels entirely out of my control, and the antidepressants I take only seem to worsen it. Apart from this particular issue, I generally function well and can handle most aspects of my life, except for these challenges in interacting with women. I feel utterly helpless in this regard.
I even experimented with Modafinil, but it yielded no significant improvements. My fear of interacting with women, or gynophobia, tends to intensify during the early morning and evening hours. I typically take Escitalopram in the morning or at night and Modafinil in the morning or evening.
When Escitalopram or Modafinil provide some relief, I can confidently engage with women. However, these instances are few and far between, and I often find myself disadvantaged in female interactions. As a doctor, I am expected to be comfortable around my female colleagues, just like my male friends are. Unfortunately, this is not the case for me, and I am concerned about their negative image of me and perceiving me as a pervert despite being a married man.
I desperately seek advice on overcoming this internal struggle affecting my interactions with women. Please, I need your help.