Hello doctor,
I had a period of time in my life recently where I was depressed and unmotivated. I have always had some forms of anxiety from time to time as well. More recently, however, I began to make strides to come out of my depression and started being happy and living life again, but I have noticed a very strange and crippling symptom that I acquired at some point in my life, that seems to maybe be getting worse. Basically, it feels as though my senses are dulled, and my perception of the world around me is severely limited. My thought patterns have become very slow and disjointed, and my day to day activities especially when alone is very very basic and boring. It is almost as if my brain is no longer autonomously processing information around me, creating memories, stimulating me with thoughts and ideas. I feel empty and blank. The severity of this feeling fluctuates and it seems to improve sometimes, especially if I am not feeling overly anxious or if I do positive things like working out or meditating. I do not know how much of this I can attribute to pure psychology and I am worried more and more that there is something physically wrong with my brain. It almost feels dementia like. My short-term or the working memory can be extremely short-lived and sometimes when thinking through pretty basic thoughts or narratives or plotlines or solving simple problems, I easily forget what I was thinking about or I cannot hold the pieces of information long enough in my head to make sense of them. Most of the time, it is not that I do not understand the problem it is just that I am trying to wrap my head around. Rather, I will be able to fully explain it to myself and come to the answer, but still for some reason be unclear as to whether I truly got it or not, and so then I will force myself to go through the logic of the problem again and again until I am satisfied with how much it has been "solidified" in my head. I might not have articulated this too well, but I am only saying it to underscore that this seems to be more a problem of information processing rather than my analytical abilities. I have found that my long-term memory seems to be somewhat stronger. This is especially true for memories formed a long time ago, which leads me to believe that maybe my recent short-term memory problems are also preventing me from encoding enough information in the moment to create vivid memories. Anyways, whatever this is, it has been further exacerbated by my intense focus on the problem, which is preventing me from being happy and sending me back into depression. I am seeing a neurologist in two months but I really do not want to wait that long to talk to someone. Meanwhile, I would love some insight or opinions on what this might be. Sorry if this explanation was somewhat rambly and disjointed. I am not very good at putting this problem into words so let me know if there is anything I should clarify or elaborate on further. Of note, I am on Advair and Albuterol and in the past, I have been on Wellbutrin. The onset of these symptoms seems to have maybe been gradual but my acknowledgment of how bad they are was definitely more abrupt and coincided with my efforts in trying to climb back into the real world after my depressive episode. Another strange symptom that has presented itself for a while is erectile dysfunction (ED) and I have been concerned that the presentation of ED with neurological symptoms could suggest multiple sclerosis (MS). Are my worries valid? Kindly reply.