Q. I cannot penetrate my wife as it is painful for her. Please advise.

Answered by
Dr. Bharat Udey
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.

Hello doctor,

My wife and I are unable to have intercourse as it is the first time for both of us. We recently got married and when we tried, we failed to do it as it was very painful for my wife. It has been one month and we failed every time. Also, we applied KY Jelly as a lubricant, but it did not help. My size is good and when I tried to penetrate, she feels a pain and some times she starts shivering. The head of my penis goes inside easily but after that when I push inside, it never goes. Please advise what we can do and to whom we can consult.

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Dr. Bharat Udey

MD PSYCHIATRY., MBBS
Geriatrics Psychiatry Sexology Sleep Medicine

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • It is quite normal to have such difficulties while having coitus with an intact hymen. It is a painful condition for both partners, and an unsuccessful attempt further adds to the stress.
  • For satisfactory coitus try the following: 
  1. Before coitus calm your partner by talking about it. Boost her confidence. Also, convince her that it would be painful initially, but after that, she will enjoy it.
  2. Start with a good amount of foreplay. Cuddle her up and get her aroused to the maximum. You can put your fingers to good use by penetrating her with your fingers. Start with your little finger then gradually increase the thickness, so that she would feel less pain and more pleasure.
  3. Once aroused completely, that is, when she is thoroughly wet down there, ask her to go on top rather than you being on top so that she can do it as per her choice and force. Woman on top is a less painful position for the female, especially if she is a beginner. Also, this position enhances her pleasure and stimulates the clitoris, pushing her further to seek an orgasm.
  4. Besides this, give a gentle thrust to add to her pleasure. Once completely penetrated, wait for a while to let her vaginal muscles relax. Then gradually start thrusting.
  5. Afterward, you can proceed to the man on top position as well, but always remember to go slow and steady so that both of you can enjoy the ultimate pleasure.

For more information consult a sexologist online --> https://icliniq.com./ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

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