Dr. Mehmet Akif Camkurt
Psychiatry
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Patient's Query
Hello doctor,
It is very difficult for me to trust anybody completely. I fall in love quickly and have had intense relationships but they usually never last more than six months. The people that care about me the most and that I truly care about are the ones I push away. I see myself destroying every relationship because I feel like they are going to abandon me anyway. I attempted suicide years ago because I felt like death would be the only possibility of being happy but I have not ever felt suicidal since that point. Sometimes I do things I know are wrong or that make me feel dumb afterward. I got so angry and emotional last week that I put a cigarette on my arm and it gave me such a feeling of relief but afterward, I felt ashamed because of it, and I did not even think about it I just did it. Most mornings I wake up angry for no reason and I just have this miserable kind of hate for everything and everyone for no real reason as long as nobody crosses my path. I am happy within a few hours, but when someone says the slightest thing unintentionally, I will freak out. I have a pretty short temper sometimes and when I get in an argument with my girlfriend even when she is trying to calm me down and be nice I still lash out and I cannot calm down. Even when I want to calm down because I know I am the reason for the argument I just cannot do it. For the first time in my life, I realize that I have a problem and I want to fix it. I do not want to push away the ones I love the most but I cannot stop myself from destroying my life. Sometimes I do things I know I am not supposed to but I cannot stop myself and other times I have no problem saying no to the same thing. Today I feel handsome but sometimes I feel worthless and ugly. I am not depressed every day and can be happy one minute and angry the other. I do not know what to do then and an hour later I am happy again. I do overreact to small things a lot and also have had anxiety attacks for years but they are not caused by anything specific that I know of. I could go months without one or have one every day for a week, I do not know why?
Please help.
Thank you.
Hello,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
I read your query and understand your concern.
As far as I understand from your descriptions you have two probable conditions.
1- B cluster personality traits (borderline).
Frequent emotional changes, lack of trust, suicide attempts at a young age, and symptoms starting in childhood-adolescency are some common features for both conditions. Determining and defining your condition will require follow-up visits or meetings to clarify. Furthermore, I would be able to recommend you a few medications after performing a detailed interview.
Thank you for your trust in me.
At icliniq, you will always get the best opinion from more than 3500 medical experts.
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