How to I overcome the depression because of a failed relationship?

Hello doctor,

I have been dating a girl I met on a dating app a couple of months ago. Our feelings grew with time, and we started liking each other until I confessed my feelings to her one day. Although she said she felt the same for me, she did not say the three magical words to me. I am going next month to meet her, and we have planned a six to seven-day trip together. We were going strong until a few days back, I saw her in a social media post with a guy where she is seen having late-night video calls with him, and she captioned those as "late night date nights." These posts were from the last five years. She had told me about that guy previously. Apparently, the girl used to take her younger brother to that boy's home to play when they were kids. Eventually, they became very close friends. She has known him for the last 15 years. The girl has always been honest with me. She had also planned a trip with that boy in the past where they stayed in the same hotel for five days. Not only that, she even confessed to sharing a bed with him for five nights as there was no couch. This totally freaked me out, and I started enquiring more. She said both were fully clothed while in bed and did not share any physical contact ever. The only physical contact between them is they hug each other whenever they meet. Her rationale for having shared a bed with him was that she was single back then, and he knew everything about her past relationships and was a great friend. Hearing all this made me angry, and I expressed my discomfort with her behavior and the fact that she is still friends with him. She said that it would not be possible to chuck him out of her life as they are family friends and even their parents know each other. In spite of all this information, I was not feeling any better. All this led to a quarrel when I said her relationship with that boy would affect my trust and our future prospects of being together. A couple of days ago, I asked her to reduce communications with him, to which she said that she had not spoken with him for months, and they do not frequently speak anymore. He texts her once in a blue moon, and that is when they have a quick call to catch up on their lives. I was still not able to come to terms with what had happened.

Two days ago, I again brought up the topic, and this time I asked her to tell that boy about me and make him talk to me, so I know his version. She said she was uncomfortable with all this as that boy was close friends with her brother, and she did not want people to know about us this way. She felt they would have a bad impression of me and find me very insecure. In the heat of the moment and after a few arguments, I told her I did not want to continue the relationship any further. She hung up the phone and expressed her anger over what I said. She wrote that she loved me. We got back together on the phone in the evening, and since then, she has been saying the three magical words very frequently. She never brought up the topic of that boy, and neither did I. She says she feels confident, is looking for a future with me, wants to marry me, and that she wants to confess to her mother about our relationship soon after we meet. Although things seem fine now, all this seems like an eyewash to me just to avoid any further discussion on that boy. For the past couple of days, we have been experiencing the best times where we are very cozy and comfortable, and she often keeps saying she loves me and can not wait to meet me. We are on the phone for hours every day. I like her and do not want to lose her, but at the same time, that boy's episode bothers me a lot and often makes me question her behavior, although I do not express it. Do you see any red flags here? Could she be taking me for a ride? Are all her emotions fake? Kindly advise what I should do now.

Thanks.

Hi doctor,

For a quick flashback, both of us have experienced betrayals in the past. She has been in relationships where men have abused her physically, mistreated her, and cheated on her. She was on dating apps hunting for a suitable match when we bumped into each other. In my case, I had first sex with a girl I thought was in love with me, only to find out later that she was already in a relationship, and I was just another option for her to experiment out of her relationship. I married a woman and divorced a couple of days ago. So both of us have had our shares of past betrayals, which we have communicated to each other. She seems practical and rational, is exceptionally close to her family, and has shared almost everything I am supposed to know within the initial two months of courtship. I know about her past sexual and romantic relationships, and I have shared mine too. We share fantastic chemistry and a great rapport, and she tells me she wishes to marry me in the future every day. We talked on the phone tonight; she has been staying up until midnight or post-midnight to speak to me, which I adore. I see her easing into this relationship and taking the additional initiative to talk to and know me better. She told me tonight that she was dating a guy earlier this year, and apparently, she slept with him on the first date. Although I have had my share of one-night stands with women, too, this did sting me a bit. Maybe I am in love with her. I did not react as I could realize she was extremely comfortable with him and wanted to take things ahead. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they did not happen; I entered her life. She keeps expressing her happiness and excitement about us being together, and my heart fills with joy. I want to trust her and be with her for the rest of my life. But somewhere deep inside, I fear being hurt again. Please advise what I can do to keep myself motivated. I love her, and I do not want to hurt her ever. But somehow, I do fear losing her. Instead, both of us have similar fears.