Q. What can be done if my wife behaves indifferently to my child?

Answered by
Dr. Ramchandra Lamba
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 17, 2018

Hi doctor,

My wife is indifferent to child health issues. She controls the child with threatening words. The child cannot cry or weep even with an extreme reprimand by her. She makes the child sleep under extreme pressure. Sometimes, the child wets the bed. She then becomes furious with him. All this has led him to be a withdrawn child and always compromising. Please suggest me.

Dr. Ramchandra Lamba

Psychiatry Psychologist/ Counsellor Sexology


Welcome to icliniq.com.

Too harshly treated or neglected child care can lead to a psychological and developmental issue in the child which includes depression, conduct disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social withdrawal, academic underachievement, and aggressive behavior. So, you need to explain these things to your wife and with the help of yourself/psychiatrist/psychologist, she may be able to change her behavior.

She can also be relieved from the stress that she is feeling now. To reduce the demand for care by her, other facilities such as day care or housekeeper can be made use of. Provide the emotional support she needs. Encourage her to take training for planning and meeting the needs of children.

Also, resolve the issue of any psychological problems she is suffering, with the help of a psychiatrist by in-person consultation.

Hope this helps you decide further course of action.

For more information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist

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Thank you doctor,

Explaining anything under the best environment is calling for a huge verbal or silent reaction. It is near impossible. I had attempted many in-person visits to psychiatrist pretending my problem. However, she is so good to the external world that I fail to convey anything. I even visited a top institute thrice but I was unable to continue. She has no work pressure and is very good and smart in all types of work. But everyday morning one to two hours in her daily routine work, she is full of anxiety as if she is running with the clock and any small deviation will call her wrath. She must do some cloth washing daily in that routine. She will insult if someone differs from her point of view or anything goes against her wish. Entire family runs around to please her. But after analyzing for many ways, I believe it is a different issue. My concern is my child. I have learned to cope with her but my child is accumulating various irreversible psychological issues. Please guide me further.

Dr. Ramchandra Lamba

Psychiatry Psychologist/ Counsellor Sexology


Welcome back to icliniq.com.

First of all, explaining is almost impossible but still, you can tell her that even though she is a very sensitive person I respect that and willing to discuss and sort the problem.

In my view, you should continue the treatment with a psychiatrist so that you both learn to cope with it. Probably, she is under work pressure in the morning like preparing the child for school, make his tiffin and bag, and she seems to be running late. Here, in the morning, you can help her to decrease her anxiety like helping her send the child to school or helping in the kitchen or anything she does. Probably this morning routine stresses her a little bit and she seems to be unable to cope with it.

Maybe, she feels insulted if someone differs from her. She needs to know that different opinions can occur and it should not be taken as a personal insult. The child can be helped by you and your family parent if they are with you. You try to take care of the child as much as possible. And take help from parents. Once the child is able to learn that father and grandparents are there to help him, he will be more comfortable. Also, keep trying to explain the situation to your partner. I recommend you continue the counseling treatment.

For more information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist

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