What could be the cause of a fluctuating mind?

Hello doctor,

I am 21 years old. I have been wanting to see a doctor for so long but I do not even know where to start from. I have been suffering from the same symptoms for over 15 years. I have been having problems with every single person in my life. My parents, friends most especially and people around. I feel really sad, the kind of sadness that you can literally feel it in your heart. I cry for weeks, people avoid me for weeks, I feel suffocated, I have palpitations, etc. A few years back I felt suicidal and I really do not want to die. I hear voices mostly of my sister crying at night or during the day, and I imagine things happening, me hurting someone or someone I love getting hurt. And I can actually see it happening in front of my eyes. And sometimes the triggers are my surroundings, maybe there is a knife or some cars passing by. And it happens more than 20 times in a day.

I really have problems with people especially the people I love the most. I just feel like they genuinely do not like me, or they are just staying with me because I will benefit them in some ways. I have the most problem with my boyfriend, I just find myself in a situation where I just stop talking to him. At some point, he told me I am trying to make him think like me, and I just stop talking to him for no reason and it is like a cycle. One minute I am fine the next I just get in a mood. And it is actually true. My mother calls me a chameleon because of my mood swings. I will be the happiest person on earth, planing my life, my business, listening to motivational videos one time and the next minute I feel worthless, useless, I just do not want to do anything.

I am really a problem in people’s lives and they really care about me so much. I think it is best if I just cut everyone out, I am just tired of feeling this way constantly for years. I do not even know how to explain how I feel what is actually happening. I am really scared to talk to people, I feel like they are ignoring me or I am just this worthless person that nobody wants to talk to. When I have a presentation I feel like I am going to die. And this is my final year in dental school. I have never talked to some of my classmates. I feel like the doctors do not even like me, but they have no other choice because I am always with two of my friends who everybody likes. And now I have a lot of medical issues that I cannot get a real diagnosis for. I have severe body pain that I cannot even sleep at night, palpitations, dizziness, breathing problems, abdominal pain, severe period pain and I wake up at the night gasping for air. The doctors told me it is anemia, but it is vitamin D deficiency. I am fine now. I really need your help, I just want to feel how it feels to be human, to be normal, and not to overthink. I really have a lot to explain but I do not even know how to put it in words and it is a lot, and I am too scared to talk about it. I really do not know what to do. I am tired of feeling this way for years I just want to understand what is wrong with me. Please help.

Thank you doctor,

What type of personality trait do you think I have?