iCliniq logo

Ask a Doctor Online Now

HomeAnswersSexologysex driveHow to make my sex life happy?

What is the first step to make my sex life happy?

The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.

Answered by

Dr. Nidhi Jain

Medically reviewed by

iCliniq medical review team

Published At October 25, 2016
Reviewed AtJanuary 4, 2024

Patient's Query

Hi doctor,

I am 30 years old. My height is 190 cm and weight is 130 kg. I have a relationship for about five years now and we are married for the last four years. We have a boy, who is 2.5 years old. I am an architect. My wife is 29 years old and she is an interior architect. But, she is not working at the moment as she is looking after our son.

I had my first sexual engagement when I was 16 years old. I knew from the beginning that something was wrong with the way I was doing sex. I did not have any proper education about it. I always felt my erection time a little below the standards. I do not really know how much it should actually be. While having sex, I could not go all the way as my erection was no more. When I had a proper erection, I was early all the time. That was not a problem those days as I was young. I was comforting myself about how young and inexperienced I am and believed it will be better as I get older. But the truth is, it has got worse.

I had sex with my wife for around four or five times after the birth of my son, which means five times in 2.5 years. In the early stage of our relationship, our sex life was good. Later, our sex period started to decrease. After we learned about my wife's pregnancy, real problems began. We did not have sex for 3 or 4 months and it continued the same way, until this point. But, there were no problem with my masturbation count. I had never had such a high libido and so is my wife. But, we had a good vibration and our relationship got better and better.

We were always into the ordinary type of sex and did nothing so special. I can even say we have three or four positions and all of our diversity comes from differentiating our location, such as living room, bedroom, etc. My biggest issue about our sex pattern was not doing it in the mornings. I guess most of the women do not like it, but it became a bigger issue. Because, after some time, those were my only moments that I want to have sex.  But, we could not do any, because she did not want that. Initially refused morning sex and then she said she does not like to have sex at all. Last week, she told me that she like to get a divorce and that really made me so sad. My wife's parents are with us for the past two months. As they are renovating their house, they will stay with us for a year.

We also got other problems, but none of them are desperate as this one. I am not expecting a magic response from you, but at least I need a direction to solve this issue. Should I begin with myself or should we do something together? Where should I seek further medical advice? Should I get checked physiologically or just see a family counselor? What should be the first step of a solution for me to be happy forever with my wife and child?

Answered by Dr. Nidhi Jain


Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • I have read your query thoroughly, but still not getting the exact problem. Please explain me your exact issue.
  • I wonder whether your problem is that you like to have sex in the morning or low sexual desire or semen comes out early (premature ejaculation) or something else.

Revert back with the answer to the above question to a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

Patient's Query

Thank you doctor,

Sorry for not being direct about the problem. I think it was losing erection at the beginning and now it led to low sexual desire. Now our biggest issue is low desire.

Answered by Dr. Nidhi Jain


Welcome back to icliniq.com.

  • Always do sex with good mood. Nobody should be tired and both should be ready for it.
  • Try to do something new in sexual life. Like new positions, new place, sexy dresses, every time after shower, in cool and dark room, etc.
  • Always do foreplay at least for 30 to 40 minutes and have some talk and feel love for each other.
  • I suggest sensate focus technique, in which touching partner's body parts to make him or her feel more sensations.
  • Do sexual intercourse more frequently for at least once or twice a week and gradually you will feel more sexual desire.
  • For premature ejaculation, use techniques like stop and start technique, squeeze technique or Master and Johnson techniqueStop and start technique will be very effective if you do it properly.

For further information consult a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

Same symptoms don't mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Dr. Nidhi Jain
Dr. Nidhi Jain


Community Banner Mobile
By subscribing, I agree to iCliniq's Terms & Privacy Policy.

Ask your health query to a doctor online


*guaranteed answer within 4 hours

Disclaimer: No content published on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website. Read our Editorial Process to know how we create content for health articles and queries.

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. iCliniq privacy policy