I am 22 years old. I have been on the following antidepressants for two years. Morning: Modapex 50 one pill, Depakene, Lamotrigine 25 mg one pill. Night: Clozapex 25 mg half a pill, Mirtimash 30 g half a pill, Depakine Chrono 500 mg one pill, and Anafranil 75 mg half a pill.
I used to take more but I stopped them over the past two years. For example, I used to take double the mentioned dose about nine months ago. I recovered from depression a couple of months ago. I started detoxing but with my doctor, the process was going way too slow and I have gained 45 kilograms over the past two years (25 in the past two months alone!) my muscles, my bones, and my joints started to hurt really bad because of my weight. Nothing works. I go to the gym every day, I workout but still I eat way too much because of the drugs and I cannot control it. My doctor does not want me to stop despite every hardship that I face and even refuses to decrease half a pill from the prescription. However, three weeks ago, I decided to cut all medications once and for all. I lost 7 kilograms, I stopped eating too much and just by cutting down the drugs I saved not less than 1800 calories per day. I started going to the gym more regularly. But here is the problem.
Clozapex 25 and Mirtimash make me sleep and without them, I cannot sleep. No kidding, I have not slept in the past three weeks more than a maximum of 70 hours. Even those 70 hours, they are full of nightmares and I usually wake up after two hours with my mind confused and afraid and I cannot sleep back. I want to sleep. My eyes grew tired because I have been opening them for way too long. I do not want to give in and get back to the drugs because I am sick of them and I have had enough. I am not going back but I also want to sleep. Just a single continuous eight hours of sleep without any nightmares. I usually get nightmares that are very weird. I do not even know how to describe them. Mathematical problems and complicated solutions that are presented to me (in my sleep) and I keep thinking about them until my head hurts and I wake up freaked out. Please tell me what to do. I thought that after three weeks it would get easier but it is not getting easier. I have no side effects at all from any of the drugs only the disturbance of sleep. Some of them were written on them that if you would stop them suddenly you would risk getting seizures but nothing happened thankfully. I am not even depressed or sad I am just irritated and sad about the sleeping problem.