Helping Children Cope With Grief and Loss

Introduction:

For optimal social, emotional, and psychosexual development of a child to occur, children require warm, secure, individualized, affectionate, and continuous care from a few caretakers interacting with them sensitively and living in harmony with each other. Grief is a complex and natural reaction to loss, and children are not immune to its influence. When confronted with the death of a loved one, divorce of parents, or other significant losses, children may undergo a range of emotions and struggle to understand and cope with their inner feelings.

The death of a loved one conveys one of the most hurting and potentially traumatic life circumstances in childhood. Grief reactions in children are also affected by ongoing developmental processes, and they may manifest differently depending on the age and developmental stage of the individual, as children and adolescents depend heavily on the adults in their surroundings to navigate and cope with the grief produced by the death of a loved one.

What Are the Consequences of Grief and Loss in Children?

The impact of trauma on children depends heavily on the life stage in which the event occurs. Psychiatrists and others generally consider major childhood loss and grief to result in psychopathology. Studies show that adults with various mental disorders, specifically depression, frequently reveal childhood loss, suggesting that such loss may contribute to the development of a range of psychiatric disorders and that this incident can render a child emotionally vulnerable for their life. This special vulnerability of a child is attributed to insufficiently developed coping capacities and developmental immaturity.

What Is the Need for Helping Children Cope With Grief and Loss?

Losses are so heartbreaking and frightening that many children can endure strong sentiments for only brief periods. They may use alternative approaches or avoid their feelings to avoid being overwhelmed. Moreover, they may express these emotions as angry outbursts or misbehavior instead of sadness. In addition, adults may not recognize this misbehavior as grief-related. Furthermore, because their requirements to be cared for and connected to are intense and immediate, children typically shift from grief reactions to an instantaneous quest for and acceptance of replacement persons.

Children are more likely to manifest grief-related effects and behavior, periodically, for many years after the loss occurs compared to adults. Thus, in dealing with a loss-stricken child, it is important to be aware of the particular children's nature of grieving and not to anticipate that they will communicate their emotions like adults. The delayed working through of loss may require specialized assistance in cases where the development of a child or adolescent appears blocked or psychopathological symptoms appear.

Common reactions and emotions a child in loss and grief may experience include sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, fear, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches. In addition, they may also display changes in appetite, sleep patterns, or social interactions. Comprehending these reactions is paramount in providing the right help for children coping with grief.

What Are the Ways an Adult Can Help the Child With Loss and Grief?

Long-term denial of the demise of loved ones or avoidance of grief is very unhealthy for children, and it also may resurface later with additional severe problems. Followings are the ways an adult in the near environment of the child helps them overcome the loss.

• Children are substantial in their thinking. To reduce any confusion, avoid phrases such as passed on or went to sleep. Answer their queries about death honestly in a simple way. Keeping in mind to only give details that they are able to absorb. Try not to overload the affected child with heavy information.

• Children can be scared about death and the upcoming future. Do not offer false comfort and also provide them a chance to speak about their fears and anxieties and validate their feelings. In addition, show a simple expression of sorrow and bear time to listen.

• Children are repetitious in their grief. React patiently to their concerns and uncertainty. They may take a long period to recover from a loss.

• Children's grief can also be physical. So observing their bodies, understanding and supporting their play and actions can help as that is their language of grief. Many times offer reassurance to the child.

• Children grieve cyclically, so anticipate their grief to revisit in cycles during their childhood or adolescence. Especially strong reminders, including the anniversary of a death or birth, may reawaken grief. Caregiving adults should make themselves available to talk during those times.

• Children require choices. Hence, whenever possible, provide choices in what they do or do not do to memorialize the dead and modes to express their feelings about the demise.

• Studies suggest that children who are forewarned about loss have lower levels of anxiety compared to those who are not. When death ensues, young children, in particular, need the concrete experience of seeing their loved ones after death. The general practitioner, the child's teacher, or someone from a distant family could offer to escort the child.

• The caregiving adult should also monitor and help with practical matters such as applying for home help, mobilizing family support, and securing adequate income. The child also needs to receive specific grief counseling accompanied by the remaining parent or close family member.

• Finally, a small number of children may need more specialized support like counseling and psychotherapy in recovering from depression or other symptoms that may be linked to the loss. These include children who may have been partially instrumental in causing the death, children who have suffered from more than one grief, those who have undergone sudden and extremely traumatic grief, adolescents who express suicidal ideation, and children not responding to the initial preventive interventions.

Conclusion:

Helping children cope with grief and loss is an important and sensitive responsibility. By understanding their individual experiences, communicating sincerely and honestly, making safe and supportive surroundings, validating their emotions, and seeking professional help when necessary, caregiver adults can provide children with the means and support they need to steer their grief in a healthy way. In addition, the caregiver should be empathetic, patient, and available to listen.