Child Grooming - Purpose, Targets, and Steps

Introduction:

The culprit can often go unnoticed as they can be a close family member, family or a person well-known in society. They gain trust by extending help or emotional support to the victim, parent, or caretaker. Groomers can also connect with the child through social media, mobile phones, or the internet and coax them to keep the relationship secret and abuse them sexually. The victim can be a child, adolescent or vulnerable adult.

What Is the Purpose of Grooming?

The purpose of grooming is:

• Gaining the child's trust, they come under the influence of the offender and completely believe them. This helps the offender to exploit them sexually later.

• To prevent the abuse from being detected.

• To prevent from being identified even if the victim reveals the offender.

• To distract the adult from the child.

Where Does Grooming Occur?

Grooming occurs in:

• Person-to-person.

• Internet or any other social media.

• School, college, or work area.

Who Are the Targets for Grooming?

People who are targeted include those:

• Who feel less loved.

• Seek attention.

• Who experience family issues and feel lonely.

• Not given attention by parents.

• Lacking confidence and self-esteem.

How Does an Offender Approach a Victim for Grooming?

The offender approaches in the following ways:

• Spend more time with the victim and look for opportunities to be alone.

• Offer help or emotional support to the child, parent, or caretaker so that they entrust the child to the offender in the future.

• Buy gifts or other items that the child likes.

• Show interest in one child within a family.

They may engage in activities that create sexual arousal like:

• Offer to bathe the child.

• Intentionally walking in when the child is changing or toileting.

• Ask the child to watch an adult while toileting.

• So-called 'accidental' touching of the genitals.

• Persuading the child to play games that involve touching the body parts.

• Offer to teach them swimming or massage them.

• Telling sexual jokes, commenting about intimate areas, sharing sexual information in the form of education, and showing sexual images.

• Taking pictures of them in bathing suits etc.

What Are the Steps Involved in Grooming (Red Flag Behavior)?

The six steps in grooming include:

• Target the Child: The criminals carefully observe the potential victim before approaching and note their shortcomings like a single child, a child lacking attention from parents, etc.

• Gaining Trust: The offender builds a relationship with them by helping them overcome their shortcomings, spending time with them, or getting gifts they like. They get involved in activities that prevent suspicion and enable them to get a 'trustworthy' tag from the child's family members. They even go to the extent of isolating the kid from their family physically and emotionally so that they spend more time with the offender.

• Extend Control: The offender makes the child feel they are special to them and do everything to fulfill their needs. Once they slowly gain control over the kid, they involve them in sharing or showing sexual information, making them believe that these are completely normal. They even ask the child to keep these a 'secret.'

• Isolation: Once the child reaches a stage when they believe that there is no one else to understand them in a way like an offender, the offender isolates the child in such a way that they spend time alone, offer to babysit, or do 'special' one-on-one coaching.

• Desensitize Sexual Relationships: After a strong bond is created, the offender initiates physical touch by putting hands around them, hugging, patting them, and making them believe that these acts are normal. Slowly they progress by showing them sexually abusive content and increasing their curiosity by stimulating sensitive areas.

• Establishing Control: The offender not only involves the victim in sexual activities but also exposes them to substance abuse like drug usage, smoking, or drinking. If the victim refuses to indulge in such activities, the offender threatens or harasses them. The child, afraid of getting exposed, continues to obey the offender unwillingly.

What Are the Signs of Child Grooming?

The child may not reveal the relationship with the offender, but certain changes in their behavior can be noted. These include:

• Frequent absences from school and other activities.

• Being out for long and lying when questioned.

• Appear dull and tired.

• Recent closeness with an older particular person.

• Behavioral changes like aggression, impatience, depression, and being secretive.

• Talk in a bad way or imitate a particular person.

• Possess new gifts or other items given by a new person.

• They are obsessed with a phone given to them by a new person and refuse to share it with anyone.

• Have unusually large sums of money not given by parents and refrain from telling who gave them.

• Being picked up and dropped off by a new person to and from school.

How to Avoid Child Grooming?

Parents or caretakers can avoid child grooming in the following ways:

• Aware of the Child's Circle: Parents or caretakers should not unnecessarily allow their child to be under someone else's control. They must know the child's friends, babysitters, teachers, trainers, and other people and make frequent, sudden, casual visits to schools or other training places. This should be done without raising a doubt in the child as they might feel they are being watched.

• Note the Changes: If a parent or caretaker feels any changes in the child's behavior, as mentioned above, they must be alert.

• Report Child Grooming: When a parent or a caregiver feels that a person is involved in child grooming, report the issue to the local police or online child help organization.

• Talk to the Child: The child must be approached reassuringly, and the parents must be supportive. The child can be apprehensive about sharing the information about the abuse, but they can be persuaded by saying they can seek help. In addition, children must be educated about proper and improper touch and groomers' behavior and be encouraged to share such acts with parents or caretakers.

Conclusion:

Prevention is always better than cure. Hence, appropriate knowledge and awareness about the child are crucial for parents, caretakers, and children. Careful monitoring of the child's circle from time to time is essential. Though this might feel delicate, it is better to look after the child's safety than to lament later. Children should be comfortable sharing such instances with their parents or caretakers.