I am studying final year petroleum engineering. Nowadays, I do not know what is going on in my life. I was a topper during school days, and at hat time I was in my grandparent's home. When I moved to class 9, I came back to my parents. My father uses to drink a lot. He uses to get home drinking and scold us. It affected my studies a lot, and my grades start to collapse. Now in my college, it became too worst. Today, I had a big quarrel with my father. I was depressed and got suicidal thoughts. I do not know how to control these thoughts. Unknowingly, I even reached a knife today. Soon I realized and came back. I know that I cannot change my dad. Also, I do not want to end up my life. Everyone is expecting more from me. Please help me on how to get rid of these thoughts. My brain is bursting with all these.