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Q. I am finding it difficult to have intercourse. Why?

Answered by
Dr. Kumarshri Shriniwas Saraswat
and medically reviewed by Dr. Sneha Kannan
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 10, 2016 and last reviewed on: Jun 17, 2019

Hello doctor,

I recently got married and I knew my partner for long before marriage. My query is I am finding it hard to have intercourse. I am very active while doing foreplay, but when I am about to insert somehow I end up ejaculating outside. We as a couple are planning for pregnancy at the earliest. Please guide us. Thank you.

Dr. Kumarshri Shriniwas Saraswat

Psychiatry Psychologist/ Counsellor Psychotherapy Sexology Sleep Medicine


Welcome to

As per your history, you seem to be suffering from erectile dysfunction (difficulty in sustaining erection) after marriage. The commonest cause of erectile dysfunction after marriage is performance anxiety. If you are worried about erection and your performance during sexual intercourse, it could cause problems with erection. To overcome this, you can try the following techniques.

  1. Remember that you are having sexual intercourse for mutual pleasure and relaxation. And not as a duty or ordeal where you are supposed to perform. Sexual intercourse in a relaxed state of mind will help in getting and sustaining erection.
  2. Do deep breathing for a few minutes before intercourse. It will also help you relax.
  3. Take one tablet of Forzest (Tadalafil) 20 mg and half tablet of Rivotril (Clonazepam) 0.5 mg one hour before sexual activity.

You can take these tablets on alternate days if needed as the effect of these medicines will last for 2 days. If you are taking any other medicine for blood pressure or cardiac condition, ask your doctor if it is fine to take these medicines along with the other medicines.

You will not need these medicines for more than 15 to 20 days because you will develop confidence when you have sex successfully for a few times. As you are recently married, do not worry about pregnancy so soon. You will have plenty of time and opportunity for planning a baby. This added pressure of getting pregnant could also adversely affect your erection.

The Probable causes:

Performance anxiety.

Probable diagnosis:

Erectile dysfunction.

Treatment plan:

1. Relaxation techniques.
2. Tablet Forzest and Rivotril.

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