How to Identify Psychological Abuse?

Overview

Psychological abuse can also be termed emotional abuse. We often see people stuck in unhealthy and difficult relationships. We wonder why one should continue in such a relationship, but the answer to this question is difficult to give even for the people who sustain that relationship.

What Is Psychological Abuse?

Psychological abuse refers to a way of controlling a person by using emotions. It is one of the hardest forms of abuse to identify, which is otherwise known as emotional abuse. Psychological abuse includes threatening the physical health of the victim and the health of the victim's loved ones to purposefully control the victim's freedom. However, psychological abuse is more than just bullying or verbal assaults. This is known to cause long-term damage to the victim's health.

Frequent bruising may be a sign of physical abuse but whereas emotional abuse does not leave any visible signs. It is emotionally deteriorating as someone manipulates your emotions in a psychological manner.

Does Psychological Abuse Occur In Cycles?

Like any other type of abuse, psychological abuse also occurs in cycles. It typically starts when the partner or any other person emotionally abuses the other, and later the abuser feels guilty, guilty not about what was done but thinking of living with the consequences of the actions. Then the abuser often makes excuses for their behavior to avoid taking responsibility for what had happened and behaves as if nothing happened. There are cases where they become more caring and extremely apologetic, making the victim believe that the abuser is sorry and accepts the apology. And when the abuser feels that he is losing control again, then the abuser starts to set up situations trying to manipulate the emotions.

Case Study-

To understand the condition better, let us take an example. A patient was in a relationship with her boyfriend for almost three years. The initial year was very good. He would bring her gifts, spend time with her, and take her out. But then, he noticed that she was vulnerable and emotionally dependent on him. She would never talk about any other guy and was very committed. Although her boyfriend admired this nature, he subconsciously started taking her for granted. He would do things that annoyed her, like coming late for dinner, not receiving her phone calls, forgetting her birthday, and cracking jokes about her in the presence of her friends. When she tried communicating about her displeasure, he would call her immature, irritating, disturbing, humorless, etc. It would hurt her, and she would cry, but he would never apologize. Instead, he would continue to blame her for difficulties in their relationship. These things got worse day after day. After a year, she decided to break up, but her boyfriend got too emotional. He threatened to harm himself if she left him, begged her to give him another chance, and promised her that he would not repeat this behavior. But, after a month again, the same pattern started. By this time, even she started to believe that it was her mistake, that their relationship was not working and that she was a bad person. She would remain stressed at all times. Her sleep was disturbed, and she suffered from anxiety now until one of her close friends explained to her about her emotional abuse and asked her to get out of it and explained that she is a good person and deserved better.

What Are the Reasons Why Someone Is Abusive?

There may be many reasons why people behave this way. Abuse is typically a learned behavior. A few people would have witnessed it in their families. Some learn it from their friends, culture, or due to the structural inequities in the society, difficult family environment, insecure abusive past, childhood, and personality factors.

How to Identify Emotional Abuse?

There are certain signs of emotional abuse like controlling behavior of a partner, restricting freedom, being suspicious, manipulation, frequent insulting comments, blaming behavior, keeping you from socializing, disputing your feelings, dehumanizing you, making you feel unimportant, micromanaging your finances and spending, and disregarding your opinions.

What Can Be Done About Emotional Abuse?

Here is what you can do:

We often ignore emotional abuse in the hope that our partner will change one day or our love and support will change him, but it rarely happens. It is very difficult to change abusive people's behavior without any professional help. We let others decide the course of our lives and continue to tolerate others' bad behavior in the name of love. But, to all my readers, love is not about only one person. Begin to recognize emotional or psychological abuse.

• Learn to say no.

• Set personal boundaries.

• Start to respect yourself.

• Start finding ways to decrease your interactions with this person.

• If the abusive behavior still continues, it is time to plan your exit from the relationship.

• Stop self-blaming yourself, and you need to keep in mind that you do not deserve abuse, no matter what the situation is.

• Try to prioritize your needs. You are responsible for your physical and mental health so take care of your physical and emotional needs.

• Give yourself some time to heal and recover. Try to focus on your needs. You can create a new self-care routine or take help from a professional to guide you through your recovery.

Conclusion:

Love is basically respecting each other when you do not get that, and then there is no point in still staying in such an abusive relationship. However, leaving an abusive relationship is quite challenging, but taking help from a professional will help you sort out an exit plan to end the relationship safely. In spite of trying the above things, if life gets difficult and you find no way out, take professional help. Do not allow yourself to be a victim of emotional abuse.